Lead "Foots"

Once upon a time, a very long time ago, my driver's ed instructor (and a car full of forever changed teen drivers) dropped me off at my house after my final "drive." We had to drive on 6 different occasions, and if we did well, our teacher would "pass" us so we could gallivant down to the DPS office, take our test, get our coveted license and forever terrify our parents each time they heard the jingle of the keys.

After being dropped off on this fateful day in June, my wise instructor (who had nerves of steel) leaned over and said, "Miss Bishop, you are a safe driver. You are a good driver. You signal. You obey MOST traffic laws, but Miss Bishop, you have a LEAD FOOT. Be sure and tell your mother I said that."

So, I walked in and told my mom that I had passed the driving portion of the course. Yep, that's what I told her.

Speed has always been an issue with me. The hubby picks on me nonstop. He says, "You speed in town and then drive slow on the interstate! What are you smokin'?"

I don't know why I'm always in such a hurry. The list I could provide of why I move at warp speed would probably bore you, so I'm including the number 1 reason.

1. I'm Type A and there's a lot of things that need doing and I can't cross everything off my list if I don't get there in a hurry and get those things done, 'cause you know the earth as I know it will come hurtling out of its orbit and throw everything out of whack, yes that's what will happen if I don't hurry up and get somewhere to get all those things done, and crossed off.

And in all of these years of hurrying, I've received only 1 speeding ticket.

Let me tell you that our friendly state troopers and city policemen have definitely stepped it up a notch when it comes to speed. I've been pulled over, uh, well, let's just say several times in the last, uh, well, few, days, weeks, months.

And I've received the biggest honkin' speedin' ticket ever to have come down the pipe. And to make things even more comical, my husband....

1. GOT A TICKET TOO
2. ON THE SAME DAY
3. ON THE SAME ROAD
4. IN THE SAME SPOT
5. BY THE SAME STUPID BLESSED OFFICER
6. ON THE WAY TO CHURCH

Yes, on the holiest of days....I broked the law. You may be thinking? Why are you going to church in separate vehicles? Well, my husband felt the need to ride the motorcycle and go to Sunday School and leave me at home with the squawling baby so I could take my time and get her ready and come later for worship service. Well, at least that was the plan.

So, a great sum of money later, (we could've paid a car note with the money we flushed down the john), I have adopted a new life philosophy. Get ready...it's a doozey, and is inspired by my favorite Disney song.

"So just try and relax, yeah cool it, fall apart in my backyard
'Cause let me tell you something little britches, if you act like that bee acts, uh uh
You're working too hard.

And don't spend your time lookin' around, for something you want that can't be found
When you find out you can live without it, and go along not thinkin' about it,
I'll tell you something true, the bare necessities of life will come to you."

My foot has lost at least 10 pounds...and it feels great!