Before Sydney came along, Chris and I would take mini vacations at the drop of a hat.
Chris: "Hey, wanna fly out to California this weekend and see your cousin?"
Me: "Sure! Gotta be back by Monday for work."
Chris: "Okay, get on Continental.com and find us a flight."
Me: "Wahoo!"
Chris: "Wanna get on the bike and ride across TX during Spring Break?"
Me: "Sounds like fun. Who can we get to go with us?"
Chris: "Let's take the Springer down to Houston today and see some friends."
Me: "What time are we leaving?"
Now, I wasn't always spontaneous, care-free, and up for adventure. Chris brought that quality out in me. I am a planner, a worrier, a think-aheader, and an organizer. I was also a heavy packer. I packed EVERYTHING for an overnight stay somewhere. I eventually learned how to pack lighter and lighter. It is a womanly trait to prepare for any kind of weather or activity while on a trip and it was very difficult to retrain my brain. When you are buggin' out at a moment's notice, you do not have time to pack each hair accessory, matching earrings, and coordinating handbag.
I'll never forget one evening Chris came home from work and said, "Get your glasses and contact lens stuff and grab your purse. We're going for a ride." Do you know how HARD it was for me to do that and not have a clue where I was going? Needless to say, we had a wonderful time.
Now, our conversations are a little bit different.
Chris: "You think we might be able to go take a short motorcycle ride this afternoon?"
Me: "Maybe. I'll have to see if anyone can keep Sydney."
Chris: "Is there anyone who can keep her?"
Me: "Lemme see if Mom can."
Chris: "Well, I guess you can drive her out there. I'll meet you there. Then, we'll get on the bike and go ride, then come back to your mom's house so you can pick her up in the car."
Me: "Okay, well, I need to go pack up her bag. I don't think she has any formula made up."
Chris: "How much time do you need to get her ready? It's going to be dark soon."
Me: "Well, she's napping now and I don't want to wake her up. So, a couple of hours."
Chris: "Let's just skip it."
It has been a major adjustment at our house. We can't just pick up and go anywhere. We always have to think of Sydney. What does Sydney want? What does she need? When can we go that won't interfere with her sleeping schedule? Is she tired? Has she eaten yet? Do we have enough diapers?
In short, we have become a WHOLE LOT less selfish. We didn't realize just how selfish we were until she came along. Chris and I did what we wanted to, when we wanted to, and how we wanted to. We didn't have to consider anyone else, to a point. Now, we put her needs before ours, her comfort before ours, her happiness before ours.
Sydney has not only enriched our lives because she is simply here, but she also taught us a lesson in selflessness. We have learned how to give all we are to her and to consider not our own feelings, mental state, or even physical comfort. It's not about how we feel, it's about her.
I want to be the same way with the Lord. It's not about me, it's about HIM. What can I do today to please him, serve him, and love him the way HE deserves to be loved? How can I express extreme selflessness by showering HIS love on someone else, even though it may be a major inconvenience to me? For the past few months, I have been practicing this selflessness by giving my most precious commodity to others, my time.
Thank you Sydney for teaching me it is not about me.
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