Baby Withdrawals

Today was my first day back at work. I plan on completing my contract this year and will be working till June 12. This morning, it wasn't so bad. Sydney was happy and compliant but was a little confused when I buckled her into the carseat at 7:30 this morning. The morning flew by, but I found myself watching the clock and doing a mental countdown... only 2 more hours...only 30 more minutes... I did go home at lunch to see her. Then, when I left at 12:30, I felt a big knot come up in my throat. I watched my mom drive off with her and I lost it. When you spend every waking moment with someone for 2 1/2 months, it's physically painful to be separated. I keep thinking I hear her crying or gurgling, but it's my imagination. My mother always said I would know how it feels to have a true "heartache" when I had my own children. She was right.

Wrist Surgery

I had a ganglia cyst removed last Wednesday on my right radius bone. It was causing me lots of pain and making it difficult to take care of Sydney. Dr. Blevins in Houston removed it and I have been in a very tight arm splint ever since... Can't wait to get this crazy thing off tomorrow. Not being able to bend your wrist is difficult and I never realized how many things you do each day that require your wrist. Typing, driving, turning a door knob, changing a diaper, texting, etc... Makes me thankful for that simple little joint that connects my hand to my arm. Never thought I'd give thanks for 2 functional wrists, but you don't know what you've got till it's gone! I'll have to post a before and after pic...

Tummy Tubbin'

Sydney has this really cool bath tub called a Tummy Tub. Her Uncle Rick bought it for her (for Christmas). Chris says it is nothing but a glorified (expensive) mop bucket, but it really is designed to simulate the mother's womb. Sydney LOVES to take a bath in her tummy tub. She is 8 weeks old in this picture and if she is fussy or irritated and nothing else will calm her down, a quick dip in the tub takes care of everything. She splashes and wiggles constantly, so holding on to her is a challenge. She doesn't get cold because the water covers her up to the shoulders. I even used this tub when she was a newborn, but had to keep a good hold of her head. Now, her head control is much better and I simply keep her chin out of the water. Splashin' good time!

Learn more about it: www.bathedwithlove.com

Postpartum "Blues" Jeans

I did the unthinkable today. I bought my first pair of in-between jeans. You know...the jeans that are smaller than your maternity jeans, but still considerably larger than the jeans you wore before pregnancy. I figured that I had to have something without a 4 inch elastic waist band hugging my sagging and stretch-marked tummy. What a shocker... There is nothing like a lesson in facing reality than looking at a number in a pair of jeans that are not interwoven with the spandex/elastic blend. It's been a while since I "buttoned" something at the waist...sheesh.

Don't get me wrong, the weight is gradually coming off and I am working at it, but I can't very well ride a motorcycle in sweatpants, now can I?

Buying these double digit jeans today reminded me of how we sometimes tell ourselves our own version of reality. We don't want to face the facts in areas of our lives that need desperate attention. Whether it be finances, relationships, career choices, or most importantly... our spiritual growth, there comes a time to "bite the bullet" and come to terms with way things REALLY are. The truth can be ugly, painful, and shocking...no doubt. Without this reality check, we would continue to exist in our mediocre state, refusing to see what is right in front of us. I want to ask God to search my heart, even those places I think are hidden, and reveal what I need to see. Only then will I know what size I "really" wear and then take the steps to make positive change in my life.

7 Hours

Sleep, glorious sleep! Sydney slept from 8:20 - 3:15 last night. I can't believe she is almost sleeping through the night. My dear friend, Laura, gave me the book Babywise and said, "If you'll follow the main principles in this book, your child can begin sleeping through the night at around 8-9 weeks. I did Babywise with all 3 of my boys. The difference it made was amazing!" I was a tad skeptical, but I think Sydney is proving me wrong. I can't remember the last time I slept for more than 2 hours at a stretch. Ahhh....

Some of the philosophies in the book Babywise are controversial. For example, if the baby is clean, fed, and not in pain, it's okay to let them fuss and cry when you put them down for a nap. That doesn't mean you ignore their cries, because parental assessment comes first. But, some kids need to let off energy when they settle in for a nap. Another concept involves lifestyles. Just because a child enters your world doesn't mean you change your entire schedule and lifestyle for that child. The baby can learn to adapt to your current life and enjoy being a part of his/her family. For example, a company doesn't change it's entire employee protocol and policies just because they hire someone new. Sydney is adapting nicely to our family lifestyle and she enjoys the flexible structure (oxymoron, I know) or our daily schedule. It gives her security that every morning between 6-7 a.m., she will eat breakfast and afterward she will play with mom. It's a lot more peaceful and a lot less stressful this way. After her play time, she settles in for her nap and doesn't scream her head off. As a first time mom, I definitely needed some guidance in regards to living with a new baby. I am so thankful this book was passed along to me.

Daddy's Girl

Isn't it amazing how a baby can change someone? From macho, Harley ridin', tough guy to Mr. Mushy. Chris is enjoying his Daddy status immensely. This promotion has been a long time coming and Sydney was worth the wait!

Breathing the Breath

As I rocked Sydney this morning, I listened to her softly breathing. It's amazing how the Lord designed our bodies to do so many miraculous things involuntarily...our hearts beat steadily and our lungs breathe continually in order to sustain our lives. What an awe-inspiring God we serve. His creative genius never ceases to amaze me. Even in the womb, babies practice breathing! I remember watching Sydney take in breaths of fluid during an ultrasound and I was so intrigued.

Then, the song "Breathing the Breath" started playing on the CD player. It is by Matt Redman and it always moves me to tears. His music is so thought provoking.

"We have nothing to give that didn’t first come from Your hands, We have nothing to offer You which You did not provide

Every good, perfect gift comes from your kind and gracious heart, and all we do is give back to You, What always has been Yours

Lord, we’re breathing the breath that You gave us to breathe.

To worship You, to worship You

And we’re singing these songs with the very same breath, to worship you, to worship you."

It reminds me of the scripture in Acts 17:25, NKJV - “Nor is He worshiped with men’s hands, as though He needed anything, since He gives to all life, breath, and all things.”

Today I give Him glory for my breath, for that is why He gave me breath.

Official Unemployment

After 10 years of working in the public school system, I have decided to resign in order to be a stay at home mom to my precious miracle child, Sydney. In order to celebrate this monumental decision, I am starting a blog about my new adventure. I know that many may think my decision is an unwise career move, and that it doesn't make much sense to leave a great job with flexibility and benefits, but, I believe it is the right choice for me at this point in my life.

I don't see the public school system going anywhere anytime soon, so job security is not an issue. What is at stake here is enjoying every second of my child's formative years and making sacrifices in order to be available to her during daily teachable moments. Preschool will come soon enough...the harsh realities of this life will soon surface...so I am seizing the day. She will only be this age once, and this time will be fleeting.